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Artist's commentary
Postponing the postponement, again and again.
The next day, Nazu came to my room like usual. Normally, I would hold her while we bantered back and forth, and then when we were in the mood, I would carry her to the bed. But today was different.
"...What's wrong? What are you thinking about?" she asked me from my lap when I wasn't paying attention.
"Do you really think this is okay?"
"Eh, it doesn't matter to me, but what are you going to do? Which of us is to blame at this point?"
I prepared myself to tell Nazu about what happened yesterday.
"No, don't... I don't want to hear it," she said, turning away from me, "I know you're sleeping with my master, but I don't want to hear it."
So she already knew about my affair yesterday with Shou-san.
"What do you mean you don't want to hear it? Isn't this why we became lovers? Nazu, what was the real reason you lured me in back then? Weren't you helping me to earn Shou-san's favor?"
She didn't answer. It's not like it was hard to guess. But I couldn't stop myself.
"You promised to show me the basics of love, so that I could love Shou-san. But when I say I did, you say you don't want to hear it. I don't understand you."
When I said this, Nazu, while sitting on my lap, turned to face me.
"You really are an idiot! How can you not have figured it out? I love you!" she shouted, and began hugging me tight.
"If I didn't love you I wouldn't have tried to seduce you in the first place. I did it because I wanted to be with you. With you! How can you not understand that..."
"Maybe I did know it. It's just that you loving me so conveniently didn't seem possible."
"You're an idiot. A real idiot. How can you say that after sleeping with my master? Why not tell me sooner..."
All I could do is brush her head as she sobbed into my chest.
"I love you! I love you! I've always wanted to say it. That I love you. I love you. It's unbearable. Without you, it's unbearable. Even if I have to betray my master, I need you. Break up with her for me... I'm begging you..." she said, and she began to take off my clothes.
"You're just sharing your body with my master, right? Then, there's no problem sharing it with me, too, right?"
As Nazu brought her face close to mine, I saw she had the same eyes that Shou-san had last night. So I... all I could do was nod.