僕は星さんを押し留めた。「っ！、どうして」星さんが驚いた顔で僕を見る。「嫌っ、見捨てないで下さい！。私、なんでもしますから」星さんは地べたに頭を垂れて必死で懇願した。その様相は心が壊れた人形のようで痛々しかった。星さんは僕が好きだという。そうだとしても、一体何故、何が彼女をこんな風にしたんだ・・・？。僕はその震える体を抱きしめた。「あっ・・」僕が抱きしめると星さんは、乾きを潤すかの様に僕の体にしがみついた。今の星さんはもう以前の僕が憧れていた星さんではなくて。ただただ弱弱しかった。十分に星さんが落ち着きを取り戻した所で、星さんを抱く事ができないと伝えた。それを聞いて星さんは肩をビクつかせたが、星さんが本気なのは分ったけど、いくら僕とナズの情事を見たとしても、急に夜這いを仕掛けるなんて普段の貴女では考えられないし、今の貴女はとても危うく見えて心配だ。何故、こんな事したのか、もう一度教えてくれませんか？と頭を撫でて聞いた。星さんは長い時間をかけて、ぽつりぽつり僕の部屋に来た理由を教えてくれた。星さんが、ナズと関係を持つ大分前から僕に好意を持っていた事。ナズはそれを知っていて、理解をしてくれていた事。でも、星さんは僕に思いを伝えられずにいた事。そして、ナズと僕を抱き合うのを見て、ナズと喧嘩をしてしまった事。そして、どうせ、奪われたのなら・・・「逆に奪ってしまえばいいって考えたんです。酷いですよね、私。自分の事ばかりで貴方の気持ちをまったく考えてない・・・」星さんは自嘲気味に言った。この頃には喋って頭の整理が出来たのか、大分落ち着きを取り戻していた。「貴方は、ナズの事好きなのでしょうか？」星さんは、真剣な眼差しで僕に問いた。星さんも自分の気持ちを正直に言ったのだ。僕も正直にナズとの馴れ初めを言わなきゃいけないだろう。全て話した、あのバーから始まった事、全て。それを聞くと星さんは言葉を失った。軽蔑されただろう。だらしがなさ過ぎる話だ。「バカです・・・。」「私は、経験がないとか、そんな事なんて気にしないのに、ただ純粋に貴方と、居たかったのに・・・」と言って腕を回している力を強めた。「早く自分の気持ちに素直になれれば良かったんですね」と言って星さんは嘆いた。今の僕には星さんの気持ちに答えられない。まだはっきり出来ない事が多すぎて、それをはっきりするには・・・わっふるわっふる

I pushed her away.
"Eh! Why?" Shou-san said while looking at me with a surprised expression.
"No, please. Don't abandon me! I'll do anything," she begged, bowing her head to the ground. She was painful to look at, like a broken doll.
"Even if you love me like you say, why would you try to become my girlfriend like this?"
I wrapped my arms around her trembling body.
"Ah..."
When I embraced her, she clung to me like she were quenching her thirst. This Shou-san was not the Shou-san that I fell in love with. She was too frail, too fragile. After ten minutes, when Shou-san regained her composure, I told her I couldn't sleep with her. When she heard that, she dug into my shoulder and,
"I understand how serious you are. But if you saw how many times Nazu and I were together, a person like you normally wouldn't want to have an affair so quickly. It's unimaginable, I've never seen you like this, and it worries me. Tell me again, why would you do something like this?" I asked as I stroked her hair. It took a while but, slowly, in bits and pieces, Shou-san told me the reason why she came to my room. How she liked me from way before Nazu and I had relations together, and how Nazu knew it and offered sympathy. How she went without telling me her feelings, and how when she saw Nazu and I making love, she got into a fight with Nazu. So, if nothing else, if I were stolen from her...
"I thought, it's the opposite, if only I could steal you away. I'm such a bad person. I've been thinking only about myself and haven't considered your feelings at all..." she said self-deprecatingly. Only after explaining herself and sorting out her thoughts did she truly regain her presence of mind.
"You love her, don't you?" she asked, looking at me seriously.
Shou-san went so far as to tell me her true feelings. I had to tell her the truth about my relationship with Nazu. I told her everything, beginning with what happened in that bar. Everything. Hearing it made Shou-san speechless. She probably hated me. It was too sinful of a story.
"You idiot..."　
"Being inexperienced.... even though that kind of thing wouldn't have bothered me. Even though I really did just want to be near you..." she said, tightening her arms around my body.
"If only I had accepted my own feelings sooner," she said with a sigh.
"Right now, I can't respond to your feelings. There are still too many things that I can't make clear. For them to be clear..."