少しずつ自分のなにかを失っていく
個性か夢か、なにかはわからないけど
https://chanomach.fanbox.cc/posts/1854000

From blog post:

自分だらけの椅子取りゲームって画ヅラをやりたかったんですよ。それだけっちゃそれだけの絵です。

最初はひとりひとりに「夢」「現実」とかいろんな要素を割り当てるイメージで、「夢」が椅子に座れなくて立ち尽くしている、でも本当にそれでいいのか？みたいな方向性を考えてたんですよ。とりあえず構図だけ決めて描きすすめつつ、じゃあこの自分は「夢」この自分は「現実」みたいなのをどうやって表現するかってところでうだうだして。
●名札（社員証）→この格好だと自然、でもサイズが小さいから何書いてあるかわかりづらそう、あと背中向けられると見えない
●ゼッケン→字が大きくてわかりやすいし背中向けててもわかる、でもスーツにゼッケン、って画ヅラがちょっと滑稽な感じもする（だからって全員ジャージとかに変えるのも違う）
●頭上に文字を出す→一番わかりやすいしここが現実の空間ではない（＝脳内）ことも表現できる
で、じゃあ頭上に文字かな…ってなったんですけど、この子らの頭上に「夢」とか「現実」とか文字が浮かんでる画ヅラをイメージして、いや本当にこれでいいのか？って思ってしまって。わかりやすさと引き換えになにか大事なものを失ってる感。ちょっと野暮ったいなーってなったところで、もうなんでもいいんじゃないかと。
大人になるにつれて生活が単調になったり、捨てなくちゃいけない選択肢があったり、いろんな迷いが消えていったり、自分がぶれていたのが固まっていったり、とにかくいろんなもんを失っていくわけですよ。この椅子に座れなかった自分がなんなのかは見た人それぞれで考えてくれればいいわ、だから名札とか文字とかもいらん！と。

ここに至った段階で凄い自分の中で腑に落ちた感じがあって。それまで筆の進みがめちゃめちゃ遅かったんですけど、そこからはだいぶスムーズに進められました。やっぱり、なんかしら迷いながら描いてると本当に進みが遅いです。これは自分に限らず、クリエイターあるあるだと思う。なんか遅筆で効率悪いなーと思って描いてる絵描きさんは、いったん自分が納得できるまでコンセプトや構成を固めてからすすめると良い感じに進むかもしれませんよ。

Little by little, you lose parts of yourself.
Individuality or dreams, I don't know what.
https://chanomach.fanbox.cc/posts/1854000

From blog post:

I just wanted to do an image of playing musical chairs with just yourself. That's really all there is to the drawing.

At first I pictured assigning all kinds of elements like "Dreams" and "Reality" to each one, with the "Dreams" being the only one left not sitting on a chair, but in terms of where I was going with it, I wondered "Is that really okay?" So I just decided on just the composition for a start and began working at drawing it, and wondered how I was going to express "Okay, this self is the 'Dreams', this self is the 'Reality'" and so on.
• Nametags (Employee IDs) → It would be natural given the outfit, but they'd be too small to read what they said, plus you wouldn't be able to see it if they were facing away.
• Competition number tags → The writing would be large and easy to read even when facing away, but putting number tags with a suit would just look kind of comical (And that doesn't mean I should just make everyone wear tracksuits instead either)
• Writing above their heads → The easiest to understand and it would also communicate that this isn't a real environment (inside the brain).
So, I went "All right, writing above their heads, I guess..." but when I pictured how it would look with these girls having "Dreams" or "Reality" floating above their heads, I asked myself "No, wait, is this really okay?" It felt like trading something else important for ease of understanding.
Growing up brings with it your life becoming more monotonous, choices you can't avoid having to make, a lot of doubts vanishing, parts of you that you were unsure about becoming solidified, and generally you just losing a lot of things. "This self that didn't get to sit on a chair can just be whatever the person seeing it can decide it is, so I don't need any name tags or writing!" I thought.

Having gotten to this point, I really felt like something inside of me really clicked. My brush was moving really slowly until then, but from a point onwards it started being considerably smoother. It seems like drawing while being unsure of yourself really does slow you down. I don't think this is limited to me, but applies to all creators. If any of you artists are feeling that your brush is slow and inefficient, try taking a moment to iron out the concept or the composition until you understand it, and you might end up making better progress.