Today, I'm going to introduce this medicine!

This extraordinary item quickly cures everything from headaches and fevers to bruises, cuts, and even broken bones!♪

Even if that's from your place, ain't no way that one drug's gonna work on all that, right?

Oh, come on. Don't matter how you slice it, that's just way too deceptive advertisin', ain't it?

No, no, it really works, I tell you!

Liar. I bet it's all quackery, right?

You know you're gonna die at some point?

I was, in fact, in that exact critical condition this morning!!