accelerator and last order (toaru majutsu no index and 1 more) drawn by mokemokeshiteneru

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Artist's commentary

Original

一方さん×打ち止めさん漫画

原作ネタバレ。少なくとも1～15巻までは読了後に読んで下され。

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"You must be confusing Misaka with a dakimakura or something!" Misaka points Misaka points out promptly!

When I met her, when we spoke, when she smiled at me, all of it—

So what?

Her memory would disappear. TO her, none of it would have ever happened.

...Cut the crap, I wasn't cryin'!

"But, but, when shampoo gets into your eyes, they start tearing. You know, you might actually have been a crybaby from the start,"

Misaka reflects Misaka reflects earnestly on how charming you were on that day—

Wha...!?

Why you little brat!

If I'm going to feel this way about her,

Don't say it in a misleading way.

"And you know what?"

"At first I was happy just being able to do anything with someone."

"Even now, I enjoy saying greetings to, talking to and playing with anyone, but,"

"whatever I'm doing, or whatever greeting it is,"

"Misaka wants to do it with you more than with anyone else," Misaka speaks Misaka speaks her mind.

"Waking your sleepy carcass and saying good morning every day,"

"and when you go out, I'll vigorously say 'take care', and when you come back, I'll greet you with a smile as you say 'I'm home'."

"When you come home tired, I'll be the first to greet you... saying 'welcome home',"

Misaka declares... Misaka declares loudly.

"...When you... depart to face your problems, no matter how sad I am, I will say 'take care' to you..."

"Also, Yomikawa told me,"

"'Greetings are usually done in pairs, so though they are independent of each other, the two of them still form one entity,' she said."

What's that supposed to mean?

"that words like those are all like wishes or prayers, carrying all kinds of emotions in them."

"No matter how many times... Misaka wil say it."

"Misaka really wanted to stay with you, to see you every day, to protect you and to keep you from getting hurt again,"

"Putting in even Misaka's selfish wish of staying with you, and putting her greatest wish of seeing you safe and happy,"

"when she waits to say 'welcome home' to you when you return," Misaka swears Misaka swears here and now...

"...Last..."

"...Order..."

I'm so weak, I could cry. I'm so weak, I could kill. I'm so weak, I could die. I just don't know when to damn quit.

Accelerator?

"...What's wrong?"

Misaka asks Misaka asks slowly.

"Does your tummy hurt?" Misaka worries Misaka worries about your health.

It's nothin' like that.

"And now, Misaka exempts you from the lonely person you were on that day," Misaka nods Misaka nods.

Misaka resolves Misaka resolves, switches to New World Mode and clutches on to you!

Listen to me when I'm talking to you... And I said, who are you calling lonely...

"...I wanted to do that with you,"

Misaka says Misaka says with a sleepy smile.

I have no right to be anywhere near her.

Yeah... Good night.

What I did was unforgivable.

You little brat!!

"Wow! That's a pretty mean attack!" Misaka admires Misaka admires your skill.

...Oh, I see, first I'm a lonely boy, and now I'm a shrinking violet. You've got some guts, little kid...

"But Misaka has an even more powerful kicking attack!" Misaka says Misaka—

Shut up!

Like I give a damn about your hot water skills!! Why didn't you tell me that your memories came back!?

"You're such a shrinking violet!" Misaka points Misaka points out the truth that she has just now realized anew.

"Because if you knew that Misaka remembers everything you said, things would turn out the way they are now," Misaka hits Misaka hits a nerve.

I oughta just sink you in that bathtub...!

Besides,

you looked like, if Misaka told you she remembered,

you would start crying right there and then.

"You regret having killed us Misakas, and in fact never wanted to do such a thing in the first place."

"But Misaka never once noticed this," Misaka also regrets Misaka also regrets choices she made in the past.

"I felt very happy and loved when I heard you shouting those words. I wanted to thank you for desperately trying to save this one unique Misaka,"

Misaka expresses Misaka expresses her innermost feelings.

"Just like you once protected Misaka's life, Misaka now wants to protect your heart."

"That is why Misaka prioritized showing you that nothing has ended over reporting the fact that her memories have returned,"

"Misaka wants..."

"...to always be with you," Misaka confesses Misaka confesses anew.

It's not about forgiveness, justice or the right to do something.

It's too late.

I might as well

Misaka says Misaka.

After all that boasting of being a first-class villain, of reigning from the utmost darkness, look at me now...

I can't even stand or walk without clinging on to this ray of light.

That's the reason.

Misaka whispers Misaka whispers in a flood of emotions.

"Last time it was something you really didn't have to do, but this time, it's different, isn't it?"

Misaka asks Misaka asks though she already knows the answer.

"Misaka is weak... so weak that if she forces you to stay with her,"

"you will want to protect Misaka protect Misaka and end up getting hurt in the process."

"That's why Misaka will be waiting. Misaka will keep on waiting and waiting... waiting in your apartment with Yomikawa and the others."

"But if you lose your way and feel like crying again,"

"I'll embrace you no matter where you run, and protect your heart time, time and time again,"

Misaka makes Misaka makes another decision deep in her heart...

"Misaka..."

"Misaka has never said greetings to anyone before," Misaka says Misaka says casually.

"That's right! So when Misaka said 'good morning' and 'I'm home' to you on the 31st of August,"

"in a sense, those were Misaka's first experiences—"

"But now, it's different. Now I feel especially happy doing something with you,"

Misaka says Misaka says, grinning spontaneously.

"having breakfast with you, and saying both 'itadakimasu' and 'gochisousama' properly, talking together, playing together,"

"When things get hard, instead of bearing it all by yourself, take a break and come home," Misaka pleads Misaka pleads...

...I'm not sure if I follow your reasoning or not.

Like the suicide squad saying "I'm off to die!" as their final farewell before they head out. Isn't that what it is?

Misaka asks Misaka asks with scornful eyes, genuinely shocked.

Well excuse me, that's just my personality!

"It's fine! I don't care! No matter what you think, Misaka puts all kinds of emotions into each and every one of her words!"

"I'm putting every ounce of emotion into the greetings I give you," Misaka swears Misaka swears in her heart as she stares into your white hair!

This illusion of mine, of abandoning all hope on you, reigning from the utmost darkness, and from the depths continuing to save the light. I couldn't even properly protect this one illusion.

Even so...

For that very reason...

...I'm off.

Well?

A little surprised at your, er, um, unusually strong grip, Misaka says Misaka says, "Y-Y-You can't do such things at this time in the morning!" in an attempt to morally coach you.

"But you're a late sleeper and probably don't care even if Misaka brings her face this close to yours."

...Mm? Mmm...?

Give back my futon and get off of that table. Get off right away. Get off immediately!

"Ooh! I finally got a reaction!" Misaka smiles Misaka smiles with delight, deeply moved.

Ow... ow ow... ow ow ow ow...

What is... this posture...?

...Hey, little brat.

Either shut up or die. Take your pick.

"But but, when I think of choosing that second option, the atmosphere becomes menacing, so I'd rather drop it," Misaka expresses Misaka expresses her opposition to overly hiding your embarrassment.

"Hey, wait a minute! Why? How come there's an arm reaching for me?" Misaka asks Misaka asks you as you forcefully seize her wrist—

That hurts~...!

Shut up, it's your own fault.

Good morning!

"Oh, he's no good! Woah, he's ignoring me! He's completely ignoring me! He's totally looking asleep here!"

On that day,

"Let's return to Yomikawa's place together," Misaka says Misaka says spontaneously and strokes your pure white hair.

"Misaka was very happy that she finally got a chance to say 'Welcome home' to you, but..."

"Hey, it's morning, it's morning!" Misaka shouts Misaka shouts cheerfully.

Misaka bulges Misaka bulges her cheeks ever so slightly and pouts charmingly.

"In other words, I know your half-asleep mannerisms, but wonder if you would show no reaction even when a girl is about to jump on top of you," Misaka proposes Misaka proposes!

But...

...Wait.

"In fact, your treatment of a lady is a complete failure as you don't notice me even when I'm making this much of a racket!"

anything like that.

"...Ever since you woke up in this hospital room,"

...Then,

Thus, anything that might have existed between the two of us was to end on that day.

We could never do it again.

Not like this.

"you looked very much like you wanted to cry," Misaka remembers Misaka remembers.

"Your white hands, your red eyes and your lonely heart. All of it."

"and on the day Misaka first met you,"

I was prepared to abandon the idea of being at her side. I had sworn to protect her from the shadows.

"Huh? No rebuttal? Could it be that you seriously mean it?" Misaka tries Misaka tries to restrain her rapidly throbbing heart and—

Yeah frickin' right! You're just a little brat...

"But just now, you looked to Misaka as if you were about to burst into tears," Misaka recalls Misaka recalls.

..."That's why Misaka" what? And who are you calling lonely?

"Then maybe you were taken aback by Misaka's charm after all," Misaka drops Misaka drops—

...Do you feel lonely?

It would never be the same again.

Yeah right!

To protect the light from the damned darkness, to save everything from becoming stained in blood.

If I could do but that, such a tragedy did not have to befall Yomikawa. That's why I must abandon it, so that history does not repeat itself!

And yet,

and yet...

Why is it?

Why is it that I...

says

Misaka uses Misaka uses this opportunity to tell you everything.

...And while I'm at it, splash, splash, splash!

Stop clinging on to those days.

Stop dreaming such things.

"I'm so glad,"

...can't destroy this one illusion, this last bit of hope?

"Misaka was very worried about you ever since you wandered off. She wanted to see you badly and missed you every day,"

"...But you're going to leave again, aren't you?" Misaka mutters Misaka mutters quietly.

Ngh...!

Misaka... says... Misaka says... looking down...

"Waiting and waiting, waiting for the day that you come back..." Misaka asserts Misaka asserts her plans for the future.

Misaka promises Misaka promises... over and over...

Misaka...

Misaka says Misaka says, struggling and kicking with her arms and legs.

Misaka emphasizes Misaka emphasizes your indecisiveness so much that you won't ever forget it!

I was prepared for it.

This girl is someone who should live in the world of the light,

and I am someone who can never reach there. I have no right to, so I never even thought of crawling my way up.

"Yeah, you most certainly were not crying," Misaka ruminates Misaka ruminates your words.

Her memory would vanish; she would forget everything. And yet, she approached me once more.

And yet, before I knew it, things were like this again.

...That's why,

Here I go again.

...It's nothing.

Being together, talking together,

It's better for her that she doesn't remember any of it.

...Because...

Stop it!

Don't embrace hope now.

Even at a time like this.

Throw it all away.

kill this one too.

So give up!

Sever your unsightly attachments and crawl in the dirt for the rest of your life! Strengthen your resolve to save the light from the depths of the darkness. Protect to the end this one simple illusion!

"Uwawah, what do you think you're doing getting into the bathtub with me!?" Misaka responds Misaka responds to the moral crisis—

...Oh, right.

I'm weak. I'm so damn weak I look like a fool.

But...

"...Does that mean,"

"Misaka can't stay with you?" Misaka asks Misaka—

"I see."

"...Then, Misaka will do her best to suppress the Misaka that wants to be with you for now..."

"Greetings are lovely and pleasant, aren't they?" Misaka says Misaka says keenly, copying your way of speaking.

...Huh?

"Take care."

I feel obliged to repay my debt to her, but even then I have nothing to give.

After the things I did.

Good night.

"Misaka is looking for someone who got lost," Misaka announces Misaka announces her objective.

Abandon the light. Stoop to darkness. Become evil! This time, this time, I will become a devil in every sense!

"Well, you have to do it with someone," Misaka says Misaka says with a gentle smile.

"That's why Misaka was very happy to say good night to you earlier."

"Before you go to sleep, I'll be sure to say good night first," Misaka simulates Misaka simulates.

Misaka pledges Misaka pledges what she has already decided...

"For example, when you say good night, it's with the expectation that you'll say good morning the next morning. And when you only say one of 'itadakimasu' and 'gochisousama', you miss the other,"

Misaka clarifies Misaka clarifies.

"That's often the case when it comes to adult talks," Misaka says Misaka says as if she knows what she's talking about.

"But when Misaka heard that, Misaka thought Misaka thought,"

"For instance, 'I'm off' conveys the message 'I'm leaving with the sure intention of coming back, so don't worry about me'."

"It's meant to tell the person staying behind that you'd be happy if they waited for you to come back."

...Misaka says Misaka says acting cool and snobbish.

Really? I thought it was just a signal.

"...Why are you always thinking such twisted thoughts?"

"...I was trying to show you the brimming care that is implied in those."

Do whatever you want, you little brat.

"No matter how many times... no matter how much,"

"and putting in all of her many other special feelings for you into her words,"

"Accelerator..."

"I love you."

"Accelerator..."

"Take care."

Floundering to be strong...

What I need is not the drive to return to the world of the light, nor is it the naïve hope that I may one day return to her side.

"Having been in Wake-Up Mode up until now, Misaka cancels her current mode and opts to go back to sleep with you,"

...Well, duh. You spent most of your days sleeping in a tank of growth medium in a laboratory somewhere.