约稿，原作者 SAWKM/users/25602174

Commissioned Work by SAWKM/users/25602174

本来在看杂七杂八的东西的时候看到了一个叫做”枪膛锁“的东西，原理是一个子弹型的东西，塞进枪膛后撑开就可以使枪械无法击发也无法上膛，当时就觉得这玩意儿好色啊好色啊，于是就约了个稿。

在第114514次因为45的25发钢板容量不够，而在锤断两个scav的鼻梁后被第三发7mm鹿弹头眼的PMC兼指某人，带着由某个不愿透露姓名的P姓绿色秃顶肥宅保险保回来的45姐去找了另一个不愿透露姓名的P姓蓝衣墨镜男子，并且背着她谈了一笔肮脏的交易。

“这事儿我能帮，但你多帮我从实验室带几根鸡尾酒回来，我还要几瓶那批奇奇怪怪的伏特加——那个J姓屑人还有T姓女神应该还有几瓶，打一根鸡尾酒再灌一瓶下去老带劲了。”蓝衣男子如此说道。

“成交。”指某人的大手和蓝衣男子紧紧的握在一起。

“跟着这个一看就很奇怪的蓝色奸商走吧，他会帮你.....嗯......恢复耐久度。”指某人对45说到。

45想了又想还是觉得有些不对劲，但料想指某人这伄人总不可能害她——这个AR没钱改枪法也不够，9mm又打不起7N31，维克多又养不起弹匣的30级还在跑SCAV的穷逼想要在不当越共的情况下打赢一场架也只能靠她和她的.45AP了。

于是45就跟着蓝色奸商来到了一个黑黑的厂房里。

“您到底想干什么？为了避免发生不愉快的事情，我建议您快些告诉我哦？”

“你很快就知道了。”P姓蓝色男子（依然带着墨镜）露出了猥琐的笑容，并且拉下了灯闸。

灯光亮起，45看到面前站着三个精壮汉子，其中一个颤抖着的胸大肌上写着“SliencerCo”，一个写着“MAGPUL”，另一个写着“Promag”。

“哎？”45不由自主的往后退了一步，却正好落到了第四个精壮汉子的怀中——他的胸肌上写着“TriggerSafe”。并且二话不说一同操作就把她捆了个严实。此时，来自SliencerCo的口球也塞进了她的嘴里，同时还有几粒口服麻痹药。

“唔————“45便晕了过去。

迷迷糊糊间，她听到了指某人的声音“很好，这是你的伏特加，针我没钱买白卡去不了实验室（其实这个档也买不了力（悲）），过段时间去海岸线给你刷去。枪我先拿走了。“

（“指挥官......?"）刚想问出口的45却发现自己的嘴依然在被口球堵着，只能发出丢人的呜呜声。困意袭来，她的意识再次陷入黑暗......

剩下的我懒得写了。

反正45姐得到了她想要的大胸和42的后座，但是代价呢？

ENG version：

After getting 7mm'ed in the head because UMP45's puny mag apparently isn't enough for killing 3 scavs, your PMC had enough of it. He demands changes—— he demands a meta UMP (because he can't afford any top tier round apart from .45AP, nor can he afford the 30rd mag for vector.)

So he brought his gun (returned via insurance from the green man) to that suspicious blue man who only wants greens, and struck a deal with him.

"you bring me some Vodka from that weird batch and some cocktail injector, and I'll do the deed for you" said the blue man.

"you've got it." said PMC.

So the blue man brought ump into a dark weird warehouse, and before she could ask anything, he turned on the light switch.

In front of her, there are 3 sweaty, muscular men. Looking so chad that the ground trembles when they pose, and she can see their 15 slots of pocket size. On one of them, tattooed on his biceps "SilencerCo", "MAGPUL" on the other one, and "Promag" on the last one.

She took a step back, but fell right into the fourth man- on his biceps tattooed "TriggerSafe", who tied her up consecutively, followed by a gag from SilencerCo and a few sleeping pills. Her mind fell into the void......

I can't be fucked to write more. Anyway, Ump now has a recoil of 42 with a drum. But at what cost?