'Breaking news: SCHALE's sensei is looking for several new secretaries, following an unfortunate and mysterious accident involving an anvil falling from the sky onto their arms.
In other unrelated news: Morale in Kivotos has increased by up to 900%.'
Though it takes the last drop of my blood, I will see Abydos freed once more! And if I can not save it from your failure Sensei, then let Kivotos burn!
"[slams an empty bottle of orange juice down on the table, breathing heavily] I got a manky eye. I'm a loli, elf knight of Monstadt. She always confine me in the room so much for fish blasting than she got the likes of me."