So, sticking this through google translate... it looks like it's a bust chart for all the shown touhous. Background colour is tier, and the text is elaboration or jokes.
- The Lavender/Dark Blue group are the flattest. Marisa gets a comment about her ribs sticking out, Lily's a wall, and Youmu's below the poverty line. No idea what Wriggle's is meant to be. - Light Blue is Small. But it's worth noting that where variances appear, Solidus appears to lowball it - Mayumi comes with larger parts included, and Mamizou varies. - Green is normal, ironically less common than the two previous tiers. Reimu's apparently on the lower end of normal, while google translate is translates snae's second line as 'I like Konjuden Sanae'. No idea what that means. - Orange is big. Keiki's on the lower end of qualifying, while Sakuya - well, google translate doesn't understand the crossed out line, but the big line is definitely huge so all's good. - And of course, the cow-girl canonically-milf is in a tier all her own.
The bottom coupon is all in katakana on top of the misspelling, which allows for several interpretations, one of which is "肩 危険 (shoulders in danger)."
5th panel shows Murakami shoulder massage but instead of breaking Momo-chan Murakami actually does a great job because she would do for others so she knows how to do it softly without hurting them
